Midlife Crisis Coach | Gayle Carson | Spunky Old Broad

27th June, 2011 - Posted by admin - No Comments

June 27,2011
End of June already–imagine!! It is hot-hot-hot. Had a barbeque at my
granddaughter’s new apartment. It’s tiny, but it is hers, and she loves
it. She and my great grandson share one room but there’s a sheet between
them so he can sleep and she can do her homework etc. Thank goodness she
has air conditioning inside. Do you know I have never used the a.c. in
San Diego? A whole different kind of temperature.
Did my first live streaming webinar in person and spotted myself on the
replay. Amazing what you look like when you don’t know anyone is watching.
Pamela Bruner was the presenter and she did a fantastic job. Wanted to
take advantage of her program that she’s doing here, but will be at a
convention instead.
Went to my my first meeting of the S. Fla ASTD (American Society of Training
and Development) in probably 10 years. I used to be Prez way back when and
there was only one person I recognized. Great program on diversity and
interestingly, the guy I walked in with was from Holland,MI, my husband’s
birthplace. For all you people out there who are worried about the
economy, jobs etc., I can tell you nothing is the same as it was. Times
have changed and are still changing and if you aren’t ready to re-invent
yourself, you may be in deep trouble. (As if you didn’t know!)
On Thursday I did 6 different coaching and teleseminar calls–what a round
robin. I thought the telephone was glued to my ear. But it was a great
day overall. Learned a lot, gave a lot and loved a lot.
Abby is asleep under my desk as I write this just loving me being here all
the time. Dylan the cat sleeps in my lap when he’s not stepping over
everything on the desk. Diva stays downstairs until about 9 at night and
then comes upstairs to sleep near me and wreck havoc with Dylan. Even
though she’s just a petite little thing, she wins all the fights. Dylan
starts it and Diva finishes it and when all three start chasing each other,’
you would swear that elephants are coming through.
Question and Answer:
Q: I like going out to eat but have a hard time keeping track of calories
and what’s good to eat and what isn’t. How do you keep up with it since
I know you eat out a lot. I really need help.
A: First of all, understand that you can order anything you want when you
eat out. As long as it isn’t fast food, most restaurants will cook things
the way you want, and substitute most other items as well. You can exchange
fruit for potatoes, order extra vegetables as well and ask that no butter
be used etc. I have seen people do that very effectively. So it is most
important that you acquaint yourself with calories, what foods are good
for you, anything you know that blows you up or gives you problems. I
know that you might think that’s extreme, but if dining out is an issue
for you, that’s what you have to do. When I eat out (for example at a
conference) I try to eat oatmeal with raisins for breakfast, a salad or
bowl of soup for lunch and then a practical dinner between 5 and 6 p.m.
Since exercising can be a challenge as well (especially if you start at
8 a.m. and finish at 10 p.m) it’s good to be watchful.
1. Clear, honest, direct, tactful, feeling communication –saying what
you mean and asking for what you want–is the only way to succeed.
2. The most important element in building strong relationships is
learning to think like the other person.
3. In order to get the most out of yourself, you have to feel your best.
Fitness is not about looking good–it’s about energy.

MidLife Crisis! Did you ever think you’d have one? What is midlife anyway?
It happens to different people at various times. Some reach it at 40.
Others don’t get a hit until their 70’s.
Most women don’t have a chance to even think about it until they hit their
50’s. In most cases, the first one can happen when your kids leave for
college or re-locate because of job or marriage. We know that as the
“empty nest” syndrome, but you might think of it as abandonment. When
you realize you are “alone” (whether you have a spouse, partner or not),
depression can set in if you have nothing else to look forward to.
If your “being” is wrapped up in your role as wife and mother, and half
of that is taken away, you may find yourself with extra hours on your
hand and feeling a little lost.
It’s interesting that at one time you wished for those extra hours and
now that you have them, you wish that past activity was still swirling
around you. Maybe that’s sending you a message saying your happiness
depends on other people rather than yourself.
That “happiness” message is an important one. You must love yourself
and be happy with your own image to survive any crisis, let alone a
“midlife” one. Health begins with positive self-esteem. If you look
in the mirror and don’t like who you are, then it’s going to be a tough
road to wellness.
1. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Through the good times and the tough ones!
If you have a terrific code of ethics and a value system that doesn’t
quit, your belief system is intact. It will be sorely tested at times,
but if you stand firm and keep your cool, you should end up right where
you’re supposed to be.
2. FIND A NEW GOAL: It can be overwhelming when change happens.
It’s not usually viewed as positive either. It can happen from
restructuring at work, the loss of a spouse or partner, death of a parent
or responsibility for one, and even a move to a new city. You need
something else to concentrate on.
3. HAVE A WELLNESS PLAN: Whatever it looks like, Are you more slow
paced enjoying pilates or yoga? Do you like the stimulation of kick-boxing
or step aerobics? Perhaps resistance training with machines, bands or
ropes? Or perhaps a blend of all three? You may be a vegan, enjoy a
macro-biotic diet or even like a daily glass of red wine and a steak.
Again, it’s a steady, healthy blend. We all know workout fanatics who
have survived cancer and people who eat meat daily and have low cholesterol.
It’s a crap shoot, but a “well” person has the ability to fight back more
4. FIND A SUPPORT GROUP: They may be friends, family, an actual
support group, or business mentors. To be well and avoid a “midlife crisis”
you need to be around people who support and encourage not those who pull
you apart and down. By the way, support means exactly that. No judgment,
only encouragement. Perhaps some guidance and definitely some hand-holding.
5. TAKE A TRIP: It can be one day, one weekend or one full week.
But sometimes going to a new destination can totally switch your viewpoint.
You may discover you have a lot more available to you than you thought.
You may find a sense of peace come over you or the opposite. It could be
so exciting that you discover a passion or new hobby. Just getting out
of the same environment can change your thought process.
6. KEEP YOUR “CRAZYTIME PLACE APPROPRIATE:” Although people understand
what you are going through, they don’t want to hear about it all the time.
Eventually you could turn into a “pity party” and that is not an option to
get well,it’s a re-enforcement to stay dormant.
7. FIND YOUR OWN SPACE: Just breathe. Take time to appreciate everything
around you. Look at the picture that makes you smile. Read the thought or
passage that lights your soul. You need to take 15 minutes each day just
for you. If you don’t have them, something is wrong.
All my life, there are two things that have always fueled me,water and animals.
I have chosen to live on and around water and have had tons of dogs and cats.
They’re work, but oh boy, do I light up when I see them.
What’s your trigger? Find it and you’ll never go through another midlife crisis.

Posted on: June 27, 2011

Filed under: General

No Comments

No Comments

Leave a reply

Name *

Mail *